Carol, I never thought I'd say this but I'm just not into you any more. You're hardly on the telly any more and even when you are you never wear any slutty leather clothes (except for a short return to form on Comic Relief with skintight leather pants, which was the last time I wanked over you).
And guess what? You've been bettered by your countdown successor Rachel Riley. She has te greatest arse I've ever seen and is not afraid to show it off in tiny leather dresses etc...I must pull myself off over her 3 times a day.
I'm not ruling you out for ever but come on you really need to put the effort in C. Get yourself back on the telly and get some leather on your arse - it's even trendy now so what's stopping you?
I was lucky enough to take the delightful Susie Dent for a drink one night and we had a great time. I was completely bowled over by Susies inteligence and natural beauty that I thought that I was in the middle of a dream. Unfortunately the dream turned into a nightmare when uber moose Carol Voordeman turned up a little worse for wear and started using the foulest of language and pulled a litre bottle of gin from her hand bag and started to swig openly from the bottle. Half an hour later Carol was lieing in a pool of cheap gin and was being kicked by six bouncers. A tearful Susie asked me if I would help but I assured her that six would be enough.
